Sorry, too tired to read through all the posts, but--
Quote:
Johannah's birth was especially exciting because it was the first time in eight years the family has had a girl, he said.

YIPPEE. Don't they have, like, cable or the internerd or amusement parks or something? Rock climbing? Fireworks? Drinking binges?

Me and the Veggie's grandma had 10 kids and dropped dead of exhaustion at age 64. We never got to meet her. 16 kids: the mind boggles. Ri-goddamned-diculous.

...which reminds me of the joke about one of my other 32 first cousins: went to the store to buy prophylactics and they said "That'll be 8.50 plus tax" and he said, "Don't need tacks, I'll just tie 'em on".